Rules of Sex

Standard

“Baby, I read today in uh…somewhere, that good communication is the number one rule of sex.”

“Rule of sex?! Rule of sex?!”

“Yea baby, so I have prepared a questionnaire which I will be asking you everytime we initiate the sexual procedure.”

“Wow. Aren’t you a lark!”

“Rule #2 says I must always act to please you.”

“Woohoo! An inventory. A real inventory!”

“Yeah, isn’t that great, baby? All the Dos and Don’ts of sex together in one book!”

“Does it also mention that you must address me as ‘baby’?”

“Well, they provide a number of options to choose from, “love”, “darling”, “sweetie”. “Baby” features on Rule 36. Works even though we have talked only half a sentence. It is a hotword.”

“A hotword?”

“Well, the rule is that hearing it should turn you on.”

Hydra. Turned into. Swallowed. Spat out.

“This book…jolly well works!” He croaked on the advert.

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