Tag Archives: boobs

With Ethical Issues

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His eyes blew round as she took off her shirt. What’s underneath a woman’s shirt is her body but going by the number of eyes it blows round, you’d think it’s a gold mine.

Anyhow, so this chappie’s eyes blew as round as they would if a pirate had found an X marked on the sea waters. She was a bit used to this, so she tried not to notice.

“So um, can I touch it?” He asked her carefully.

No you dolt, she thought to herself. I’m just an artist’s model, and that’s why I’ve let go off my clothes after coming home with you, kissing you several times on the balcony and flirting with you all evening.

“Uh, okay.” She said playing the game even though he was already beginning to disgust her with his useless questions.

There thus ensued some touching. A while later though, another pop survey.

“So can I suck on it?”

Wow, she thought. Wow. Is he really ASKING me that? Because he sure didn’t ask me if I wanted to listen to his crap about watermelon varieties all evening. Perhaps the head things don’t matter. Perhaps my silly boobies are more sacred than my mind, on which I’d to suffer so much assault on this date. So perhaps THIS is an important question. Perhaps I should weigh its pros and cons before answering it.

Thus the weighment of pros and cons ensued…

“Whyre you sleeping with him if he is so silly?”
“I dunno, I thought it might cheer me up in the cheery way sex has a tendency to cheer up people after the most boring evening of decades.”
“Well it isn’t working right?”
“Doesn’t look like. Looks like I’m talking to myself instead of fucking him.”
“Stop it then…”
“I dunno, I still have some hope?…”
“Well then either you’re Voltaire’s Candide, or you’re a slut.”
“Hmm am I a slut?”

“Hello is something wrong?” THE MAN had spoken.

“Hello human,” she said as she turned into her true form: A Hydra with a thousand tentacles on her head waving about most ominously. Wild, evil laughter broke out as she to swallow him whole, with her slimy, uncouth mouth out of which twenty million snakes spurted out each second. And he tasted so awfully bad, she shitted him out as soon as possible.

“Kind of a rum woman,” he told his friends the next night. “Wonderful sex drive but would suddenly freeze.”

“Ah, a slut with ethical issues.” His friends nodded wisely.

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O’s Woes, Part II

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The following is a distressing sexual tale, the first part of which is available here. Please use caution while reading it.

The plan was to make O chew paper and make green fairies come out of her mouth. Green fairies are a signal for “Go” like green traffic lights, so it’s like God giving the people with penises permission to risk bruising theirs with large teeth. But walruses were highly offended by this whole plan and initiated several effective campaigns via the internet like STOP PAPERCHEWING FOR BLOWJOBS 2017 and this created a lot of outrage among American citizens while the British placidly ate their scones and jam and sipped their tea. The American citizens, unlike their British counterparts however were very concerned about walruses and invaded several nation-States in the middle East to make sure that the rights of walruses are protected.

This however did not help O much who was still waiting with her O mouth to attempt blowjobs but now no one was very keen to come to her as they feared they might be accused of carrying weapons of mass destruction. Which they very well were. *nudge nudge wink wink*

Meanwhile O cried the whole day and tears entered her mouth when there was other stuff worthy of being placed there.

But O’s cries were heard. Her fairy godmother appeared and asked O to get two pumpkins. O got her the largest and the juiciest pumpkins from the garden and the fairy godmother waved her wand, and lo! The pumpkin turned into huge breasts and O had the biggest boobs anyone had ever imagined about. However it seems that the fairy godmother was not very well-acquainted with the laws of physics, so that O promptly toppled over as soon as her big boobs appeared owing to her center of gravity being radically displaced from between her legs. The fairy godmother, unable to figure out the problem, left O in her predicament anyways, excusing herself by saying that she had the Fairy Godfather’s Looking for Fairy Godmother’s Ball to attend to.

So O lay there on the grey cobblestoned floor in the dark with her O mouth and her huge boobs, unable to get up. Several women passed by and were secretly jealous of O’s assets as they fanned themselves with their very expensive fans. But O cried and cried because it was shameful lying there like that and because it made the deep-running scars of her rapeful humiliation come alive and they seared like deep trident shaped penises in her vagina.

In the meantime, the penises had been deliberating about what to do what with their people being so scared about being accused of carrying weapons of mass destruction and such. Many of them decided to detach themselves and enter O’s mouth, what the hell. So suddenly O found her mouth stuffed with forty thousand happy penises that oohed and aahed as she lay on the ground. But being the greedy bitch that she was O wanted more and more and more so she opened her mouth wider and wider and wider till it actually collapsed on itself and became a black hole. But this was a very special black hole as it sucked only penises in. But many religious penises, well-acquainted with the concept of sin were distressed about this and decided to become pansies instead. This saved them from being sucked in.

However O was becoming a great danger to all people with penises and all people without penises too, for if she took all pansies penises for herself, what would be left for the others? “Take what you need, leave some for the others,” the wall of Mr. T’s vineyard said. But O did not seem to grasp this concept.  This became a matter of huge concern and everyone decided that something must be done about this.

Many great minds occupied themselves with this problem and it was finally agreed that O’s penal appetite could be satisfied only by creating a giant penis and stuffing it into her O mouth. A planet called M was commmissioned for carrying out this task. The planetary soil was fertilised with the relevant fertilisers to make it fertile for growing penises. The plan was to fuse these penises together to create the giant penis. However things went terribly wrong during the transplantation and some of the penises, aware of what they were being grown for, decided to rebel, asserting that they had a right to decide which mouth to go into, and not just any mouth, even if it was very O. Planet M was soon overrun by penises carrying forks, knives and scythes. Since these penises were not fully grown yet, and were the warrior kinds…poking themselves with sharp things when no one else was, they gradually came to be known as sissies.

Meanwhile O’s black hole *nudge nudge wink wink* was gagging with sucking so many penises together and her face was turning purple while her eyes popped out. Her seksual pleasure was heightened to a single point of light and she died a booful death.

The headstone of her grave reads nothing because O evaporated in the heat produced by the friction of all the penises. A whory life, some people accuse, and O rightfully wails while being shamefully fucked in the fires of hell. Beware, tell mothers to their little children, of what O did, and the children listen carefully even while Beelzebub laughs in delight while watching O give beautiful blowjobs. “A despicable fate…Tut-tut,” he pronounces as he gets a hard-on.