Tag Archives: clown erotica

Sexy Fucks

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i think of fucking you
with all my heart
baby ohh baby
it’s suchh a start
and a decision sooooooo smaaaaaaarrrrrrtttt!

 

YO BIATCH! GIVE DADDY SOME SUGARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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Why Happy Sex?

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Hello readers of our blog. Well, my blog. Well, this blog.

But “our” just sounds so much better you know? Because we’re all into sexy clowning together! And because I love you all. Really! Each one of you is so very very fuckable. And I am the most sincere person ever. C’est vrai.

So one question which often gets asked here is this: Why is happy sex so the best?

Thankfully, today we have with us an expert to answer that question in the most succinct and precise manner of all the sexiest possible manners.

And he says:

Because sex without smiling is as sickly and base as vodka and tonic without ice.

Thank you, Mr. Stephen Fry! THANK YOU! Couldn’t have put it any better myself! You are ONE HELL OF A sexy person and I would do you even if you were gay, because when did things like that ever matter? We all would, we SWEAR!

[Approving applause from studio audience]

Everywhere!

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“I’m SO hyper and sexy right NOW!!!” O screamed as her mouth split wide wider wider widest wide.

“How much? How much?!” The Finnish girl implored. The Finnish girl was drunk on whiskey. Whiskey whisks people and makes them happy.

And happy things are happy, don’t you agree?

“So much so that I could fuck everyone on the planet. Fuck them nicely. Fuck them hard. Fuck them quick. And fuck them rhythmically. And fuck them in the clouds!” O yelled in ecstacy.

The Finnish girl yawned. Finnish are cold people, it has been said. But this one had asparagus growing out of her pussy which O very much wanted to eat. O has weird tastes, it has been said.

“TOGETHER!!!” O added emphatically.

“Oh now, you are making sense!” Finnish woman finnished that sentence with a huge laugh and asparagus jumped everywhere.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” O let out a stream of fucks and it was all fucked and Finn-girl was fucked and everyone was fucked and it was AWESOME. Like AWESOME and AWESOME. because O couldnt stop typing. and fucking. and typing. and fucking. even though it made no sense whatsoever. But sex is kind of like that. That’s what makes it AWESOME.

And then there was loud crack CRACK! and a fuse in Finn woman exploded and she jumped up hard. Asparagus everywhere! Kids were aghast but went chomp chomp anyway because clowns were ecstatic and she zwooped right into the air and through the ceiling and into everywhere.

This is what’s SO good about sex! It’s EVERYWHERE!

Now let the happiness begin!

One Mail Box and A Flying Pussy

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The following text works as a standalone episode but if you want, you can read the first part of this very sexy story here.

Bozo had decided to look for the place where his penis would stand. It was a missing piece from the jigsaw puzzle of the universe. Where does it fit? Where does it integrate? Oh, oh he must know!

It was thus that Bozo set out from his house one fine morning. The mail box outside his door reddened considerably upon perceiving his enthusiasm. Bozo glanced at the mail box and thought it was only fair he should give it a try. Bozo was a clown of simple means, rather inclined towards the methodology of trial-and-error in such matters. He launched his penis inside the mail box. The mail box was dumbfounded, and let out an uncertain giggle. Bozo withdrew his penis. Too small for this part of the puzzle, he said to himself and moved on.

It is the law of nature that wherever there is space, there must be matter to fill it up. And Bozo had set out to find his space among all the spaces of the world.

It was while he was thus walking that Bozo encountered The Flying Pussy. It had white feathered wings and looked somewhat spacious.

“Ah, a pussy with wings!” Bozo exclaimed. “I must try this one.”

“Hey, will you please help me with my puzzle hunt?” Bozo asked of the Pussy.

“Okay…” The Pussy didn’t think much of Bozo but agreed to help him, for it had nothing better to do. Plus it saw no reason to deny Bozo anything much especially when Bozo had asked for it so politely.

So Bozo thrust his dicky bird into the Pussy. The bird chirped. But the bird soon suffocated and died.

“Not enough space,” Bozo said.

“Aw, never mind. Better luck next time.” The pussy smiled at Bozo and went on its way.



Years later whenever Bozo would relate his encounter with The Flying Pussy, people would roar themselves hoarse with laughter. “How undignifiededly slutty!” The men and women would jeer, and some would say,”Poor Pussy! What injustice to be used and violated in this way!” Bozo would sometimes join them in their emotions, but often, he was confused about the source of their indignance at the Pussy.

The Flying Pussy thus acquired quite a reputation and some sympathies for not being perfectly aghast at Bozo’s straightforward politesse. Men and women seemed to find The Flying Pussy tale too entertaining to stop talking about it–so they never did. This fact disappointed and tickled The Flying Pussy when it came to learn of it.

“Ah well,” it said and smiled a sweet pussy smile at their reverence for sex.



…to be continued

More On Kissing

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…this time from the expert


A woman and a man came to Nasruddin one day.

The woman complained, “I was just walking on the street the other day, when this man, who I have never seen before, came up to me and kissed me! I demand justice!”

“I agree that you deserve justice,” Nasruddin said. “Therefore I order that you kiss him back and take your revenge.”


Oh honor, ho honor

Thou baffling maiden!

Sticks and stones to break my bones

But so are kisses with depravity laden–

Neither scrupulous hate nor indiscriminate love

Will your sacred form accept

You mark your boundaries sharp

Like my poodle dog pissets.