‘Cause divine wrath, it is sexy.
The following text works as a standalone episode but if you want, you can read the first part of this very sexy story here.
Bozo had decided to look for the place where his penis would stand. It was a missing piece from the jigsaw puzzle of the universe. Where does it fit? Where does it integrate? Oh, oh he must know!
It was thus that Bozo set out from his house one fine morning. The mail box outside his door reddened considerably upon perceiving his enthusiasm. Bozo glanced at the mail box and thought it was only fair he should give it a try. Bozo was a clown of simple means, rather inclined towards the methodology of trial-and-error in such matters. He launched his penis inside the mail box. The mail box was dumbfounded, and let out an uncertain giggle. Bozo withdrew his penis. Too small for this part of the puzzle, he said to himself and moved on.
It is the law of nature that wherever there is space, there must be matter to fill it up. And Bozo had set out to find his space among all the spaces of the world.
It was while he was thus walking that Bozo encountered The Flying Pussy. It had white feathered wings and looked somewhat spacious.
“Ah, a pussy with wings!” Bozo exclaimed. “I must try this one.”
“Hey, will you please help me with my puzzle hunt?” Bozo asked of the Pussy.
“Okay…” The Pussy didn’t think much of Bozo but agreed to help him, for it had nothing better to do. Plus it saw no reason to deny Bozo anything much especially when Bozo had asked for it so politely.
So Bozo thrust his dicky bird into the Pussy. The bird chirped. But the bird soon suffocated and died.
“Not enough space,” Bozo said.
“Aw, never mind. Better luck next time.” The pussy smiled at Bozo and went on its way.
Years later whenever Bozo would relate his encounter with The Flying Pussy, people would roar themselves hoarse with laughter. “How undignifiededly slutty!” The men and women would jeer, and some would say,”Poor Pussy! What injustice to be used and violated in this way!” Bozo would sometimes join them in their emotions, but often, he was confused about the source of their indignance at the Pussy.
The Flying Pussy thus acquired quite a reputation and some sympathies for not being perfectly aghast at Bozo’s straightforward politesse. Men and women seemed to find The Flying Pussy tale too entertaining to stop talking about it–so they never did. This fact disappointed and tickled The Flying Pussy when it came to learn of it.
“Ah well,” it said and smiled a sweet pussy smile at their reverence for sex.
…to be continued
Whilst crossing through Iceland, her eye caught a strange fixture in several shops. High Quality Condom from the Land of Explosions, it proclaimed. The mere sight of this packet of contraceptives made her go all crazy compelling her to explode in closely-timed tiny explosions of silver and pink. Phut! Phut! Phut! Phut!, she went. Then she grabbed the next person with a rainbow on the head and was seized by a mad desire to break the ice with the whole universe all at the same time!
“I have said this before and I will say it again”, she gasped between smiles which made 17 muscles in her jaw hurt. “Iceland is a best country full of sexy clowns!”
“Tut, tut,” Ramdev spake from a country afar. “Didn’t I say sex-ed makes you wanna do it? This is sheer degradation of our women I say!”
“Nature- shmature…skamoosh!,” agreed a BJP MLA while perusing enlightenment in the Legislature.
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” She was riding the top of an aeroplane and crying out pure, untainted joy all this while.
“On life, universe and everything, I will say this,” remarked The Great Ababa to Bozo one day, “It’s all in your penis.”
The Great Ababa was the great sexual mystic who had lived for twelve thousand years under the water forking fish. This enterprise, aggressively funded by the WHO, had been undertaken to examine the role of inter-species sexual drive in the process of evolution. Many times, Darwinian fables say, it has been found that while genetic variation produces an improved survival soldier version of the species, it also results in “a most unnatural sexual fervour” towards species of the lower order. It was said of The Great Ababa that he had had a writhing vision one night: Red herrings commanding him to explore the abovementioned irregularity in natural inclinations towards fornication, upon which he had jumped out of bed and exclaimed, “Carp(e) diem!” just before going to the nearest river and swimming upstream for well, the fish. This was only necessary as his research method was indeed very empirical: “You cannot know it unless you have experienced it,” being his personal motto.
Coming back to The Great Ababa’s remark: “Oh! I thought it was all in my head!,” Bozo responded to it with some surprise.
“Oh Bozey! So they say, so they say.” The Great Ababa sighed. “Descartes has exploited us far too long with his heady philosophy, it’s now time for Fuckartes to take over!”
“Fuck a cart? Brilliant! Nothing is beyond you, O Great Ababa!” Bozo looked at The Great Ababa in wonderment.
“Fuckartes, my dear! Fuckartes!…the art of fucking! And the only true way of knowing life, universe and everything!”
Bozo eyes grew rounder and rounder. This was all too exciting. “I am now beginning to get what you mean by it is all in the penis,” he said.
“Yes Bozo. But don’t let that make your penis too important! Because who wants to know life, universe ane the other shit anyways?”
“Uh, don’t you?” Bozo asked with some uncertainty.
“My dear sexy clown, after forking seventy gazillion fish in a span of twelve thousand years, I think I have known enough shit. That’s why I decided to chop my penis and eat it for dinner yesterday.”
“Wow, isn’t that illegal?”
“Yeah yeah blah, but I was just a bit tired of the whole thing you know? I’ve had my time, fish everywhere are grateful, conservationists are happy and the Nessi monster wrote to me the other day to thank me for the kids. But you Bozo! You!” The Great Ababa emphasised, “YOU have your entire penis in front of you. Why not do something about it?”
Bozo then noticed that his entire penis was indeed in front of him. It was dancing about naked.
“But how to go about it huh? How to go about penising life, universe and everything, O Great Ababa?” Bozo posed the problem.
“Look it’s like this, sexy clown. Think of life and universe as a great big jigsaw puzzle to be put together. And you’re a part of the puzzle. But more emphatically, your penis is a BIG part of the puzzle which your life is.”
Bozo nodded vigorously taking it all in.
“To really know life, universe and everything therefore, Bozo, you must find where your penis fits in the great picture. Where does it stand, eh? And when will it? You must discover theee!”
And so Bozo set out to discover life, universe and everything in his penis.
We must have explosions, always and always!
sexy clowns of the world
Woe-yurism is sexy.
Via Hugleikur Dagsson, a hot Icelandic man.